Consultant and Author, D. K. Christi

Communication 101

by D. K. Christi at 8:03 AM PDT, April 25, 2009

A Walk on the Beach The World Outside the Window Arirang: The Bamboo Connection Consultant and Author, D. K. Christi

I have joined so many forums and social marketing venues that I need a spreadsheet for my ID's and passwords. I also need one to keep track of the many places on the Internet where I should be posting. At the same time, I need to learn about the quirks and idiosyncracies of each site. In fact, if I was thorough in this new way of communication, I would have no time for the true core of my existence: writing novels and short stories.

Internet communication has become worldwide, cross-generational and universal in its appeal. Forums, the posting communication areas long before Twitter, are a study in themselves. How people can become so heated with each other over simple disagreements and end friendships that have never known a tear or a handshake in person escapes me. I have seen entire forums fall apart because of a conflict among members who never spent a minute over a cup of coffee yet feel they are well enough acquainted to make accusations and insinuations about every modicum of personality and character in their adversary. They even stoop to expletives and representations of words unspoken for their graphic, heinous meanings.

I propose that we step back for a minute and remember that we are flesh and blood with heart and soul, human beings with needs and desires to be understood, to be accepted, and to be loved. The world is already a cultural hot bed of disagreements and international strife, hatred, medical woes and poverty. If our comments on forums are so harsh that we create distress with people we have never met or broken bread with, why do we post there? Is it our desire to let out the beast?

Let's remember the power of words, especially words that lack the forgiveness of eye contact, body language and a common personal experience. Hold back on stereotypes, words that are known for their flash points, generalizations and accusations. Instead, choose words that create an opening for harmony, a stage for understanding, a search for meaning in an uncertain world. Let's apply the golden rule to Internet communications and use our words as carefully as we would like to see communications sent in our own direction. Don't post the spiteful pictures on the My Space sites and describe in hateful detail the horrid inflictor of grief in a relationship breakup. Instead, move on. Post the future hopes and dreams, the pictures of the open doors and the new horizons.

The moment words are seen or heard, they create an emotional response. My motto is, "All I know is in this moment," and I'd rather it be a moment of curiosity and understanding, woudn't you?

Coming soon: Ghost Orchid and Romance of My Dreams anthologies I and II